Even John would have hated John.
It really does show how revenge twists John’s character
every time my parents tell me something that I should’ve done that is not helpful to the conversation I’m going to reply with some historical event that shouldn’t have happened like
"You should’ve gotten up earlier"
"Hitler shouldn’t invaded Czechoslovakia"
"You should’ve gotten higher grades then"
"Abraham Lincoln should’ve hired a better bodyguard then"
I witnessed this live, I feel special
The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.
I need this.