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moraniarty:

you’re walking in the woods

there is no one around

and your phone is dead

out of the corner of your eye you spot him

                                                                                                    shia labeouf

slender men *_*

(Bron: anti-social-cave)

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burgrs:

hotdammysammy:

burgrs:

*eats 1,000 oranges* its fruit i won’t gain weight

An orange is approximately 87 calories. If you were to eat 1,000 oranges that would be 87,000 calories.

its fruit i wont gain weight 

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frecklesrex:

livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

Even John would have hated John.

It really does show how revenge twists John’s character

(Bron: true-pain)

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sherlockedcumberbabe:

kaehzar:

every time my parents tell me something that I should’ve done that is not helpful to the conversation I’m going to reply with some historical event that shouldn’t have happened like

"You should’ve gotten up earlier"

"Hitler shouldn’t invaded Czechoslovakia"

"You should’ve gotten higher grades then"

"Abraham Lincoln should’ve hired a better bodyguard then"

I witnessed this live, I feel special

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semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

(Bron: secretsbest)

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